Running For My Life
This story is to help you change direction when the things life throws at you have you stuck. Running for my life When I was growing up I can vividly remember watching with my dad the animal documentaries on pbs. There was something about the wild that was calming and inspiring. My favorite ...
When The Smoke Clears
A bomb has just exploded in your life. You have lost your job. You have lost your home. You have lost a loved one. You just lost a friend. Everything around you is destroyed. Every relationship you had is shattered to pieces like fragments of broken glass. The ground is covered with ...
Consequences
One of the hardest things to learn growing up was how to ""do what you didn't want to do." I know that sentence doesn't look right but read it again and you'll see it is spot on. If you were anything like me this process of learning to do ...
I Will Kill You…
[caption id="attachment_639" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Photo by Floating Lemons"][/caption] WITH KINDNESS Man, last week was a really challenging week. I don't know if there was a bulls-eye on my back or a kick me sign that I just can't see but it seems like I was under attack. THE ATTACKS Maybe I said something to that person that offended ...
The Beauty Of Change
GENESIS 35:2 Then Jacob said unto his household, and to all that [were] with him, Put away the strange gods that [are] among you, and be clean, and change your garments Why is it that instinctively people cleave to what is? Why does it take heartache, pain, suffering, disappointment, frustration, sickness ...
SOLO ARTIST
I have tried and tried to do many things in my life all by myself, most of the time I fail. I don’t know if this was your experience but some things are much easier to do if you follow the instructions. Do you know what works even better, asking for help? I don’t know when the world became so self sufficient. We think that we can do everything all alone.
TEAMWORK
My mother has a granite table. It is the heaviest thing I have ever tried to carry in my life. When she moved to her new home I think it took five grown men to move it. This was a table. If we understand we can’t move a granite table by ourselves. Why do we think we can carry the weight of the world on our shoulders? That is a heavy load to carry.
LAY YOUR BURDENS DOWN
Look around you. I guarantee there is someone who wants to help you lighten your load. There is someone who wants to help you but they are waiting on you to ask. You do not have to try to solve the world’s greatest problems all alone. Someone has already passed the test you are taking. Someone has already recovered from your addiction. Someone has found success in your area of weakness.
Find them. Ask them.
Grow.
Why do it alone if you don’t have to?
Our Country can use a little more PEACE
I wrote a song not too long ago and the chorus simple states the previously written line. I have grown accustomed to living in a city, state, and country that is driven by a two letter word “if.”
WHAT IF?
What if I lose my job? What if I get sick? What if my child gets sick? What if I get in an accident? What if I get hurt? What if… You get the picture. This is the same reason why life, health, home, and accident insurance is a multi-billion dollar business. We even have a little duck telling us we need supplimental insurance to fill the gaps that the other insurance coverage “purposely” misses. Sad times.
Throw this in with the fact that there are more clinically depressed people, more suicides executed, more suicides attempted, more homocides and more violent crimes in our country than any other industrialized country in the world and you realize we have some problems.
MY RESPONSE
So I want to yell to the top of my lungs, “Peace, be still.” This is the phrase that Jesus made famous after being awaken on a boat full of his closes friends. They somehow thought that even with Him on the boat they were going to die a.k.a. perish (Matthew 8:25).
Of course, Jesus sprang into action and without skipping a beat calmed the seas and stopped the wind from blowing. The rain even stopped falling. It all happened with these three words. I know we’ve been told by Hallmark and through the lyrics of Hal David that what the world needs now is Love. I would interject that this LOVE can be supplied best in the form of Peace.
THE CHALLENGE
So I’m petitioning the 280 million people in our country that call themselves Christians to help themselves (and somebody else) find some peace today. Actually, you don’t have to be a Christian to try to help someone else. Whoever you are and whatever you believe seek peace. Pray, intercede, whatever you need to do. Desperate times call for desperate messures. Even if it is as simple as giving someone a hug today and telling them, “Everything is going to be alright.” Or, my favorite, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy!” I adjure you to share a little peace today.
Please write back and share with our readers how you became an ambassador for peace today.
P.S. Don’t ask me to sing the song I wrote, lol. (I’m not a singer).
Photo by Graur Razvan Ionut
So many times in my life I have focused on developing different aspects of my life to try to become a better more well rounded individual. Recently I was reflecting on some of my past experiences and a story came to mind that was so powerful that it made me change my thoughts.
Since when did self development become so selfish? I mean we are here living on this wonderful planet taking in all of its splendor and majesty but I noticed that I am not all alone. So, how do others affect my development and what can I do to affect theirs. It all starts with a kind act, a caring act.
THE EVENT THAT CHANGED MY LIFE
About a few years ago I was driving home from school when a young man, chasing a ball, ran into oncoming traffic and was hit by a car. The driver of the vehicle slammed on his brakes and swerved to try to avoid this young man but unfortunately was unsuccessful. It was during rush hour traffic in the afternoon. I just knew somebody was going to get out of their car besides the driver who hit him to check on his condition. Unfortunately I was wrong.
With the hundreds of cars that drive through this intersection not one of them stopped to help. They even had the nerve to blow the horn and complain about the traffic. One brilliant 
older gentleman almost hit an emergency worker in attempts to squeeze by the officers and emergency vehicles. When pulled over by the police I am told he responded that, “he had a bad day at work.” There is a kid on the ground fighting for his life and he was mad because you burnt a few burgers while working at McDonald’s.
THE SAD REVELATION
When did the world become so insensitive? As I looked around at the faces of the people driving by they looked annoyed, frustrated, and disconnected. If I could read their minds they probably would be thinking, “Do I look like I care?”
THE POWER OF CARING
The simple act of caring has the power to bridge gaps in any area of difference in our lives. It has the power to build communities, strengthen families, and create opportunities to establish new relationships. Not only will the person benefit greatly from the help but you will grow from it too. It is a win-win situation. No one leaves from this situation the same. You have just made personal development an unselfish act and have taken the first step to start a network of growth and change.
So, how do you show you care?
- Help someone solve a problem without them having to ask for help.
- Put someone else’s need before you own.
- Volunteer to help build your community.
- Take care of things others give to you.
- Make friends with someone who seems like they need one.
- Offer help with everyday tasks.
- Do everything you can to make someone else’s life easier.
These are just a few things you can do to start. Please don’t be the people driving by frustrated because your problems are more important than someone else’s. It is time to make personal development a group activity. It is time to show the world we care.
What have you done recently to show someone you care?
The right phrase can get your audience to re-invest in your story
After spending time with my nephew both Friday and Saturday I heard this term about 100 times as a connector inside of stories. I had almost forgot how powerful getting small affirmations during a conversation can be (when done correctly).
Guess what?
Open-ended probes are powerful but they also allow an individual to lose control of the direction of a conversation. Yet, there is good news!The key is knowing when to use open-ended probes to start conversations and when to switch to closed-ended probes to come to an expected end. This is just one of many techniques to get buy-in.
As I look back I don’t know if I was ever actually coached as a child on how to create buy-in. The crazy part is effective leaders almost always have an inherent talent for story telling to generate buy-in. They have to be able to tell the story and gauge their audience at the same time to make sure they are keeping their attention, gaining their trust, and flexing their influence. See, it is only when the audience feels they are apart of the decision making process that they have the opportunity to have “shared meaning” on the final decision.
That being said, using phrases like “guess what” or “make sense” or “you know what I mean” are all ways to make sure your audience is still actively interested and invested.
So the next time you feel like you are telling a story that has captured the sentiments of your hearts and you don’t want your audience to miss a moment, throw in these phrases (sparingly of course) and see if this leads to better retention. P.S. All this knowledge comes courtesy of Dr. Ian Jennings who is a grand total of 5 years old!
Photo by Frederic Carmel
One early afternoon, during my high school days, I was sitting in my desk in study hall. The desks in the room were split in half with six rows of three chairs facing the center of the class with the opposite side having the same amount of chairs and configuration. I sat in the front seat in one of the front rows.
THE FACE OF EVIL
Across from me in the front seat was a young lady who always seemed to be really angry about something. She would curse, throw things, scream how bad she wanted to whoop somebodies, you know what, and be really vulgar. She was a prime candidate for the beauty is only skin deep cliche. The girl was gorgeous but her attitude was toxic.
Well this particular day she was at an all time level of frustration. Some girl she shared a locker with had done something so evil, so cruel, so deceitful that she had to be handled today. To quote her exactly would take this post from G to NC-17 by the MPAA. She reminded me of Muhammad Ali and the way he would talk before a major bout. “I’m gone hit you so hard you gone think it is two of me.”
It was going to be on.
Now normally I would always be excited to see a good fight but I had to work that evening so I choose money over entertainment. The next day I was 15 minutes early to study hall to hear the details of what happened. I was like a kid on Christmas Eve. I could hardly sleep that night. With the way she was talking about whooping that girl I thought I would hear about it on the evening news.
I sat at my seat staring at the door waiting for the “aggressive one” to come in.
THE RESULT
Oddly, she walked through the door with a huge smile on her face, which made me feel a little eerie. I thought to myself, “She killed her. I am turning her in. I knew she was crazy but murder.” She sat down, moving slowly I guess from pains from the battle, and noticed me starring. There was nothing that would keep her from cussing me out and threatening my life in the past but today was different. Today she said hello.
I couldn’t wait any longer I had to ask. “What happened?”
She smiled at me gingerly and said, “That girl, you know the one I share a locker with, the small and cute little thing… Continue reading “She whooped my…..” »
Photo by Kim Jerbo
THE FUN
I can remember when I was a snotty nosed, rebellious, little kid and I enjoyed rolling around in the mud. Not only did I like the texture, sounds, and playdough like qualities but I loved the mess it made as well. I hope I wasn’t the only kid in the world that loved mud. As much fun as I had diving and rolling on mound after mound of mud, sliding across mud puddles like they were a slip and slide and making great mud civilizations, my poor mother was the one who was left on clean up duty. The more fun I had the greater the mess I made.
THE CLEAN UP
The more fun I had the harder the clean up job became. The task of washing mud out of clothes is tedious. The individual items must first be rinsed out just to try to remove all traces of dirt and debris. Mud also has a tendency to get into seams and the only way it can be removed is to scrub. Grass and mud combined made super stains that had to be pre-treated with detergent.
There is only one thing that is harder to clean than mud out of clothes and that is dried mud. Not only does it make clothes items into statue-like pieces of art but it can also be excruciating to remove from exposed skin.
It hurts to get rid of the mess. Hours after the fun was over you could still see it on me. Everywhere I went I left a trail behind. The trail I left usually lead discipline right to my hiding spot. I thought I was slick thinking after pulling off the greatest mud stunts of all time that I could never get caught. Word to the wise, when you jump in the mud don’t be surprised if you get dirty. Saying I fell only works the first few times.
THE REVELATION
As a kid I liked mud. Now as I have grown older I realized adults do to, we just call it a different name. Many people today call it “drama.” So you may not like to dive face first into a wet, dirty, pile of mud but we find a way to get real messy in some of the situations we put ourselves into. I will let you apply this where it fits in your own life.
Instead of starting the uncomfortable process of cleaning up our mess we hide behind the dirt on our face. I want to be remembered for the positive things I have done not by the mess I made and left behind.
Getting the mess out of your life is not going to be an easy process. It will take time, effort and skill. In all honestly it is going to hurt. Some of the mess can be rinsed out, some will need to be scrubbed, some will need to be pre-treated and removed later. The only way to get clean is to stop playing in the mud and start washing.
Man I have a big load to clean.
Modesty: the quality of being modest; freedom from vanity, boastfulness, etc. (Webster Merriam Online Dictionary)
Is Modesty a lost art?
Have all of the people in the current era been trained to boast? Sometime I just stop and think of the most influential and powerful people in 2010 and I’m sadden to think at how many of them are driven by more money, more fame, and more power. You jokingly hear sports commentators openly admit that they know a player is about to have a breakout season. When asked why the common response is, “It’s a contract season!”
Is this the only reason to kick our efforts into high gear? I hope not.
What’s worse is when we see success finally finds some people they can’t help but change. I was told by a great mentor that money doesn’t make you who you are… money exposes what you’ve always been. I’ve never really had enough money to know what this fully means but I’m sure it is a deep revelation just by the tone in which it was said.
The next time some one gives you a pat on the back, a vote of confidence, or a sincere compliment think, “how can I be gracious in my response?” I am literally convinced that many people have never been taught how to accept praise or accolades. They have received it so infrequently that they grew to crave it. Once they get it they don’t know how to stop desiring more of it. If people lack to provide it then they give it to themselves. In the words of Solomon, “oh vanity of vanities!”
My hope is to someday teach my child how to win just as graciously as she fails. To have a heart and a mind that sees behind the status quo and builds her goals and dreams on something deeper. When she finally reaches these dreams (I know she will) I pray that she doesn’t let it go to her head. When people give her compliments she doesn’t respond with the fake modest line, “Well, what can I say…” All the time a simple “Thank you” would have been just fine.
Why?
If our meat is the praise of the people then what happens to our drive when the masses decide to praise another? To practically apply this to the everyday Joe.
- Don’t wait for your spouse to say you’re great to clean the house or cut the grass. They won’t say it and the house will never get clean and the grass will never get cut.
- Don’t wait for your child to say you’re a great parent to give them the things they need.
- Don’t wait for your boss to give you a raise or open praise in front of your peers to try to out work your pay grade.
The good things done in secret by people we’ve never heard of (or cared to remember) are just as important tol shaping our world.
Photo by Jeff Hire
A few years ago, in the middle of the night, I was watching a show called “Maximum Exposure” aka Max X. It is a viral video show that showcases some of the most extreme acts caught on video. This night had one of the funniest videos I have ever seen.
THE RISK
A gentleman, in broad daylight, was speeding down an interstate doing about 25 mph over the speed limit. The video on the police cruiser shows the car speeding by his radar gun clocking 95 mph in a 70 mph zone. The chase is on. The cop coming from a stationary position stomps on the gas and quickly makes its way through the traffic and catches the perpetrator.
Calmly, the officer walks up to the car, takes the drivers license and registration and asks the gentleman if he was aware of how fast he was going. The driver, knowing that he was busted, stated, “I was doing about 95 give or take. I am in a hurry.” The cop showing empathy asks the driver what was the issue.
THE RESULT
“I am about to miss the game,” the driver responded. With no other option the cop proceeds to give him a ticket. He walks back to the car to run the drivers information and write out the ticket.
The officer gives the driver one last chance to possibly get a reduced ticket when he asks him, “Which game are you going to see?” It sounds like he was hoping it would be a kid’s baseball or football game. The driver then foolishly responds that he was on his way to play BINGO and told the cop hurry up because he was running late. Continue reading “$100 and Something Dollars!!!” »
Say YES for a change
Did you know that the average child has heard the word “no” over 20,000 times before they ever turn the age of three? Ironically it is also around this time that children begin to develop enough personal character to willfully rebel. The “terrible twos” are chatergorized by a lack of understand. Yet, somewhere between three and four children begin to acquires the skills to reason. It is during this time they watch how other children and adults reason. If we’re not careful they, the children, will watch us model a world of “NOs”.
Subway has went as far to make a commercial out of it. There subject matter happens to be adolescenes. Which brings me to my next point: By the time a person turns eighteen how many times have they been told no? I haven’t found any studies that even attempted to track this statistic but I’m sure if the number is 20,000 by three then at eighteen that number has multipled. I’m thirty. You do the math.
Yet, I think I know why we say no. We say no to protect. We say no to nurture. We say no to direct. We say no to stop potential confusion. However, do we sometimes say no just for the sake of saying no? Do we say no because we have internalized all of the “nos” we’ve heard over the years and we feel it is finally our time to say no to someone else?
When there is a new project at work that someone needs to take on but nobody wants. Eventually they may ask you to step up and take it on. What will you say? Maybe a holiday is coming up and your team needs someone to step in and work that day? You’ve got a project that is tied to your personal hobbie and you’ve been putting it off for years. Someone who knows of this project may ask you if you intend to finish it before the end of 2010. What will you answer?
The internalized no can cripple the growth process of dreams in infancy as quickly as it can dabilitate a three year old. And we wonder why we run into people with big, un-accomplished dreams who have a bit of a chip on their shoulder. They have to take on the 20,000 NOs. However, the thing that keeps them going is the possibility of the power of ONE YES! It only takes one record label to sign a new artist. It only takes one book to make a writer a Pulitzer Prize Winner. It only takes one act of recognized bravery to win a purple heart. It only takes one word to change the course of your day.
That world is YES!
I hate to admit it but I like to cut corners. You know take the easy way out. I like to take the path well traveled instead of walking in the unknown. It has something to do with personal effort or energy and depending on the task at times I lack both. I mean who goes through their day giving 110% on every task at hand? Is that even humanly possible? Well surprisingly it is.
People with strong moral character consistently practice the life skill of doing their personal best. As a parent this is now a focus of my own because my son’s actions mimic that of my own. I need to attempt to set a good example. 
Now to give your personal best does not mean you are an expert at everything that you do. You are not going to be anywhere close to being perfect. Doing your personal best is giving and putting everything you have into the task at hand. The “that is good enough” mindset is what I am trying to get rid of.
So how do you do it?
- Recognize what you want to accomplish. Set goals for yourself.
- Plan ways to improve your performance. As reassess your goals constantly.
- Find a mentor or coach in this area and listen to and act on their suggestions.
- Learn from your mistakes and keep pressing towards the mark.
- Celebrate small personal milestones along the journey.
So, what does doing your Best look like?
- Learn to go above and beyond the expectations of your peers, co-workers, boss or friends.
- Be dedicated to the task at hand and display it openly.
- Work HARD at whatever you are doing.
- Refusing to quit on a task that is difficult but can be completed.
With these tips and tons and tons of practice I am confident that one day. I will get rid of the “that will do attitude.”
What do you think? Is it important to give you best in everything that you do?