December 2010

This is a guest post by Charity Wheeler

As every year comes to an end and we get ready to embrace the newness and challenges of the year that past, there are many questions one should ask themselves.


  • Did I accomplish the goals that I set to accomplish?
  • Did I do my best when entrusted to do something?
  • Did I give to those who needed me to provide?
  • Did I say I love you every chance I had?
  • Did I say “sorry” or “I forgive you” or “please forgive me?”

My story this time is a reflection of would’ve, should’ve and could’ve, but didn’t.

So often, when someone harms us or hurts us, especially those whom we love and care for, it is hard to let it go. It sometimes becomes easier to hold a grudge, rather than to say I love you. Admit it… all of us have occasions when it is hard to turn the other cheek. Yet, it is in times like these that one must learn to live the mantra, ‘don’t sweat the small stuff!’ And declare, “I love you anyway.”

New Year

Photo by Murali cm

Have you ever put someone on a pedestal so high that they could do no wrong? Or, has a person you admire highly done something that caused them to lose your respect? Has that same person ever been your parent?


This is one of the Ten Commandments. As for me, I always honored my Father and my Mother up until a little over a year ago, when I lost so much respect for my Father, because of something that he did, that was completely unnecessary. I was angry at him for something he did. I was angry at him because he refused to take good care of himself after he had his stroke 13 years ago. He became a bitter and mean man. This was not my daddy. This was a man that I became distant from. Honor! Oh how I wish that I had continued to honor my Father.

On December 12, 2010, my heavenly father, called my earthly father home to be with him. I spent this last year holding a grudge and not speaking to my dad, due to my own stubbornness and anger. I wanted my dad back, the one that I shared 30 plus good years with.  My dad was my rock. No one could say anything bad about my dad. He loved me and I loved him. He made me laugh and I made him laugh, I and many others always told him that his voice sounded like Barry White. My dad served in the Army and in the Vietnam War, he would tell me tall tales about fighting sharks and carrying wounded soldiers across the ocean and of course, I believed my dad. My dad had big muscles and he would let me hang on his muscles and he would swing me. Oh how I miss the good times with my dad. I still beat myself up because I didn’t do what God said, but I love the memories that I have with my “daddy.”


For the last three to four weeks prior to my dad’s passing, something kept telling me to write my dad, call my dad, go see my dad and I kept saying one day I will. I put it off and now I have to live with regret. The night before my dad passed he came to me in my dreams. When I saw him, I said,

“Daddy, I forgive you for everything.

He said, “Charity, I am dying.”

And I said, “I know.”

I felt a sense of peace because I was able to say that in my dream, and the next day my mom called me when she got home from church and said that my dad had died. But, now, I ask myself “was it good enough?”

If I can give one piece of advice to anyone that will listen, don’t sweat the small stuff, forgive and move on, love, live and laugh.

In Ephesians 4:26, New International Version it states:

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”

Want to know more about Charity Wheeler? Here is her personal bio:

A CHILD OF THE KING, Funny, Outgoing, Sincere, Dedicated, Yearning for success, Goal Setter, Dreams that only God can make come true, A writer, Inspirational, Creative, Small Business Owner, Loving, Kind. I am a Wife, Mother, Student, Daughter, Sister, and Friend. I love bringing JOY to others. I am Charity Wheeler and I look forward to encouraging and enlightening you.

SunriseThe sun pierces through the darkest night bringing forth an illuminating ray of light that emits a reddish orange hue of sheer beauty and astonishment. With its indescribable power the sun starts off the day with a bang. It literally demands attention from the people who are awake to experience its glory.

Can you imagine overlooking a horizon that is consumed by darkness to slowly watch the sun rising over the outlook? It is breathtaking. I have been told that watching the sunrise is one of the greatest pleasures on Earth. This new moment, this new beginning, this brand new day that has never existed in the past, starts with something beautiful.

As the day progresses the same sun with it’s beauty can burn us in the summer, abandon us early in the winter subjecting us to early evenings, and extend grace to our eyes in spring with the beauty it creates in the form of flowers that spring up from the ground. Every season it has a different purpose. Every season, though it is still the same sun just in a different location as we orbit it, affects our lives differently.

In your life, just like the planet, you will go through seasons. Some of your seasons will be beautiful and breathtaking while others may be cold and lonely. What is important for you to understand is that no matter what season you are in the day starts exactly the same, with a sunrise.

As we head into a new opportunity at life keep in mind that everyday will not be perfect but everyday starts perfect. You have the power to direct your path on the day you enter in to. Open your eyes and watch the sunrise and celebrate a new beginning because you will change the world.

Life as we know it is a gift that should be nourished and cherished by the people who have the opportunity to experience it.

I dare you to view it with a whole new mindset and take in as much of the sun as you can get.

It seems like everyone everywhere every year says, “This year is going to be different!

I have to admit I’ve been subject to the same line of thinking. Honestly, it usually works for a couple of months. Yet, somewhere between February and April I stop fighting for transition and start to slip back into old bad habits.

Of course, like every year, I’ve already concluded that this year is going to be different. At some level, yes, this year will be different. It has to be because it hasn’t happened yet. However, I want to take as much of the “chance out of the change” in this year. I will be strategic in my behavior in hopes of facilitating a greater, more sustainable ‘new’ in my New Year.


  • Reflecting in great detail on what is and what needs to be.
  • Writing down my plans of change and posting them where I will see them everyday.
  • Setting sessions to review my progress on my goals quarterly (and revising goals as necessary).
  • Sharing my goals with a good friend and/or a mentor with the expressed intent of them holding me accountable.
  • Believing that I can and will CHANGE (even when I fall short of my expectations).

These five steps can jump start any goals that one sets for the New Year. Please share any additional suggestions. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

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