Frank has a guest post on Pick The Brain titled, 5 Ways to Win An Argument. Here is a link to his post.
Frank took some time Tuesday explaining the power of body language. This article was so good that after I read it I immediately asked my wife, “When do you know I’m in the midst of a good conversation.” Without hesitation she responded that the answer is in my hand movement (or lack thereof). Of course, this was a needed revelation for me. She followed that comment with a couple suggestions on how I can make my hand gestures more uniform for all of my professional and personal interactions.
Seeing how quickly and accurately my wife responded planted the seed for today’s topic.
For anyone reading this who does not know my wife personally let me briefly introduce you. Rachel is amazingly sharp, intuitive, witty, and has a hint of perfectionism hidden under her calm, unsuspecting demeanor. Her no-nonsense approach to dilemmas is one of her best qualities. In short, Rachel is a problem solver.
What’s the opposite of a problem solver?
There are those of us who spend our time moaning about what’s wrong when we recognize a problem. We can overlook twenty good things to fixate on five bad things. Left uninterrupted, these five bad things overtake our lives! How so? I’ve noticed that if the habit of complaining is allowed to enter into one’s life then it will quickly spread into every area. At work with associates, at home with family, in leisure with friends… whining is contagious! Ironically I’ve recently heard this process defended because it is claimed to be therapeutic. Everyone needs the opportunity to vent right? The truth is this type of misplaced venting does not produce positive chance unless it is coupled with…
Complaining, that’s so last year! It’s time to embrace the next dimension. In this next dimension you’re stronger, wiser, more passionate, more productive, more joyful and closer to wholeness. Complaining and whining is a sign of one’s unawareness of power. That energy spent complaining was meant to be spent brainstorming for solutions. If you want to see change in your family, friendship, and business endeavors…
It is going to take action.
Yes, it is important to flesh out the details and depths of an issue. However, I cautiously adjure you to remember that this is just the first step. Once this step is complete we must start to seek answers and resolution.
So the next time you are boiling mad because of a faulty process at work, a family short-coming in budgeting, or a friend’s failure to perform a function don’t whine. Come correct. The correct way to address a problem is with at least two suggestions for solution.
Not only will this separate you from the majority of people that inhabit our planet, it will also elevate your standing amongst your peers. You will not be looked at as a grumbler, complainer, or quitter. Your ability to understand, address, articulate and then seek to solve an issue will fortify your role as a leader in any spear of your life.
Don’t be part of the problem, be part of the solution!