That simple two letter word packs a lot of power and has killed a lot of dreams. Yet, in spite of the pain it may cause, it is a very useful word in the English language. Useful in a sense that it will sometimes force you out of your comfort zone and cause you to do something you never would have imagined was possible. It also has the power to stop you in your tracks and limit your ability to move forward with your life.
How we respond to this very word is dependent upon our personality. If this is a word that you rarely hear due to your super model looks and charm, your response to it may be different from the frog that has not yet been kissed to transform into a prince. He has had to hear no once or twice trying to convince the ladies that he is prince charming in disguise. Regardless of who you are, this word packs a punch and I am going to teach you how to take it.
Why Learning to Deal with Disappointment is Important?
It’s simple. No, is a part of everyone’s life. However it does not have to be the period at the end of the grand sentence of your life. Instead I like to look at it like a comma. It is there to cause you to pause, reflect and re-adjust. What I see most people do is stop. Do you know how hard it is to build momentum from a stopped object? Imagine yourself pushing an object from a stopped position. Now, imagine moving an object that is already in motion. Which face was uglier in your imagination? I bet it was the stopped position one. I imagine there were a lot of veins, sweat and puffy checks but it doesn’t have to be this way.
The word no does not have to be a momentum killer. Instead it can be ax sharpening moment. Please don’t’ make me have to share the wood chopping analogy. If you don’t know it email me and I will give you all the details. To help you deal with the disappointment that this word may bring, I have included three tips that have been monumental for me in pursuit to overcome my disappointments.
1. Control Your Emotions
When I recently was rejected for a freelance writing assignment I was devastated. I had written a 700+ word masterpiece on overcoming excuses and getting results. This was an article I had committed hours and hours into completing to make sure it was perfect. After reading through the reason for my no, I went through a large array of emotions.
First I felt extremely dumb. That was followed by confusion, frustration, and then inadequacy. My emotions were all over the place. It wasn’t until I took a moment to calm down, accept the feedback as helpful, and make changes that I was able to get my thoughts under control. When you hear no, try not to take it to heart. It will cause you unnecessary stress.
2. Search for and Accentuate the Positives
At times when you are rejected your mind will try to force you to focus on everything that was wrong. Instead this is a great time to look at and enlarge those things that were right.
I recently had a friend who was turned down for a job he wanted. Shocked, confused, and devastated, I thought he was about to give up. Reminding him of all of the progress he had made over the last few months and the monumental changes he had made over a short period of time to get ready for that position changed his outlook and made him refocus. He was not the same person. That one no almost robbed him of some of the most drastic and impactful changes that had happened that made him a new and better person. Don’t let no steal your time.
3. Re-adjust Your Goals
If your no was given by a reliable source, it may be beneficial to take the advice to heart. This is a perfect time to evaluate the direction you are going and determine what steps to take next. The faster you can make it through this process, the easier it will become to get over the disappointment. Take that same energy and redirect it towards a new goal. This goal may be to improve your skill, craft, or enhance your talent in the area where you are deficient. This may cause you to change to meet the new demand. This may cause you to realize that the path you were going on may not be for you.
Take the time to find out what’s best for you. Dig deep within yourself to see if you are willing to work hard to get the yes you deserve.
Start a Fire
As much as I would like give you numerous tips on how to avoid no, I understand that it is simply a part of life. Instead, I would like to let you know that there is life beyond no. Don’t let that no define, limit, or stop you. Dust yourself off, make the necessary changes, and get right back in the game. Once we realize that no’s can’t be avoided it will empower us to keep moving in spite of them. Use the tips that I shared today and shake off that disappointment and go get the life that you want. I believe in you.
(Thought it would be nice to end with some positivity)