If You Don’t Know “ME” By Now

by Jermaine

I am currently back in school. I don’t know exactly what I’m doing in classes but I’m here. My classmates are dedicated and trying to conquer the world. They post a million things a day. The quality of their post leads me to believe that they’ve done all their reading and have taken some time to critically think about what they say before they say it.

One of my recent assignments was all about understanding who I am so I can understand how I am best equipped to lead. Grudgingly I started going through the little surveys and reading various articles. To be honest, the whole time I spent filling the information out I was convinced I already knew what the results would be. I had just taken these same Myers-Briggs personality type surveys less than six years ago.

Turns out I didn’t know the new me

Yet, things have changed. Thus, I have changed. I’m married now. I have a child now. I work in a new job now. All of these role changes have had an effect on my day to day outlook. At the core I believe I still have the same values and viewpoints. However, the way I express these views and share my responses are different because what is needed of me is different.

I found out that I am a INTJ (Introverted Intuitive Thinking Judging). Prior to today I always took the test and came out right on the edge of a ENFJ (extraversion, intuition, feeling, judging). Feeling perplexed I jumped to Wiki for the answers so I could read more about this new designation that fit my personality. As I began to read outloud my wife was sitting right beside me. The reading went a little like this:

“INTJs are one of the rarest of the sixteen personality types, and account for about 1–4% of the population. INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion “Does it work?” to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake … INTJs are known as the “Systems Builders” of the types, perhaps in part because they possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability.  both perfectionism and disregard for authority may come into play … Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ’s Achilles heel … This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals … Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense.”

There is more but I’m sure that is enough to get a feel.

Every place that is bold is where my wife was laughing and pointing… pointing and laughing. It went on like this until I finished the entire article. Of course I tried to dismiss the truths outlined in the comments and went to my trusted ENFJ background.I read with great conviction all of the great attributes. Nothing.  My wife smiled and said that it didn’t sound like me at all.

The ironic part was that six or seven years ago the INTJ wouldn’t have sounded like me either.


How has the current crop of people that pervade your life shaped the way you live your life? How long do you think you can hang out with people without it fundamentally effecting who you are?