As you’ll learn so far this week both Frank and I love our children. We also reckonize that they must really, REALLY love us. How do I know? There is an old saying that states the highest form of flattery is imitation, lol.
How can I show my daughter how much I love her?
I was sitting back one day last year when something jumped out at me. I say “NO” a lot to my daughter.
I already wrote about it once but I wanted to revisit this topic from a new perspective. Think about it for a moment… is it possible that our children may misinterpret our discipline as a lack of love or lack of freedom? Sometimes after a really rough day that was full of challanges it is easy to dismiss the fact that your child is still learning how to live in this crazy world. No after no after no can really suck the life out of anybody. If someone told you “no” all day everyday to almost everything you wanted to do would you be happy?
To my daughter playing in the blinds are fun (we just had to replace three sets that she broke). Coloring the walls sounds exciting. In her mind mixing orange juice and red cool-aid while standing on the carpeted floor should be o.k. Jumping on the bed is the whole purpose of that purchase. I mean why buy a bed you can’t jump on? Yet, all of these excellent activities get the same answer from daddy…. “NO!”
That is why I believe it is really important to enforce the five minute rule.
What’s the Five Minute Rule?
I’m glad you asked. The five minute rule is something that I just invented not too long ago. When my daughter is in a cranky mood and intends to whine her way through the day I don’t respond with negative criticism. Instead I transition her out of this state with high humor and words of affirmation. I state, “You’re not a whiny baby. You’re a big girl!” I actually tell her she’s a giggle baby. I also tell her you’re happy. Life is good. You’re going to enjoy this day. You’re beautiful. Act beautiful. Smile. This is a great day!
This is accompanied with intense tickling, laughing and smiling. I try to give her at least five minutes of positive speech, action, and attention. I’ve concluded that a five minute fix of love, affection, and laughter can change her mood and shift the entire course of her day.
Of course, what works on a three year old may not work on a 16 year old. However, I dare you to take five minutes each day and pump positivity into your child. They may realize your discipline is not just to steal their good time. They may also start to realize just how much you really, REALLY love them and want their day(s) to be productive, exciting, and fun.
Try this today and share your outcome with the group.