The Confrontation

by Frank

This is part three of a six part series. (Breaking Unhealthy Relationships Now-B.U.R.N.)


The Battle of the Mind

I bet when you read the title you assumed we were going into the heat of battle telling that unhealthy party to get lost. I bet you thought it was going to be a sweaty, bloody, and gory mess with you coming out on top victorious. Well I hate to break it to you but the biggest confrontation in this battle to free yourself from this unhealthy relationship is one with YOU. You are your biggest obstacle from reaching success in this area of your life.

In the last post we discussed some of the mental limiting beliefs that would keep you trapped in a unhealthy relationship. Well now let’s discuss how I got rid of them.

Limiting Belief #1: I won’t be able to replace this relationship.

I was reading a book and for the sake of embarrassment I won’t share the title. In this lovely story an outdoor animal whom happened to have a very shiny nose was being picked on by his peers. He was in a unhealthy relationship at his place of employment. Now his boss loved him but his peers couldn’t stand him. He thought he would never have any friends. One foggy evening he lead his peers and boss through a rough dark night and the rest is history. 🙂

No Really, I had a friendly reminder of how many people are on this planet. If I can’t make at least one friend out of all these people I have a bigger issue at hand. But just in case you need some help here is a great resource on where to find a replacement.

10 Tips to Make New Friends

Limiting Belief #2:Why terminate when I will still be forced to interact?

Sometimes the relationships that do the most damage are the ones that are impossible to eliminate. You can’t stop talking to your children. Neglect is a form of abuse. lol! In these relationships, breaking does not mean eliminating these people from your life but it is evolving your interactions into something that is acceptable for both parties to tolerate one another without fear of bodily injury. 🙂

Limiting Belief #3: It is a waste of time to confront someone because they won’t change.

You will be amazed by how many people I have confronted to terminate a relationship whom are now some of the best friends I have.  I found that by speaking up for myself and being honest have opened up doors in my relationships that I never knew existed. What you may think are your unhealthy relationships can become your best relationships if you give them a chance by speaking up for yourself.

Limiting belief #4: You can’t live without the other person. You aren’t strong enough to stay away.

If you knew you only had 3 months to live would you want to spend every moment with a person who makes you feel worse? All they do is remind you  that you are going to die. Or would you like to spend your time with someone who brings you joy and makes you happy to be alive.

Do you know when you are going to die? Stop wasting your time. You will never get it back. The more time I spend trying to hold on to a dead relationship the less time I have to make great ones.

Limiting Beleif #5: It would be cruel to end a relationship.

It would be cruel to shoot a puppy in a toy store on Christmas eve. Getting rid of something that is detrimental for your health can never be bad for you. If you don’t believe me close your eyes and picture that poor puppy getting shot, the look of horror on the kids faces, and the bad press the toy store would get. Then compare that to you not talking to Sally for a month while she gets her act together. That should change you perspective a bit.

Now that we have discussed with humor the ways to confront the limiting beliefs within yourself we must next focus on The Break Up