Was it Good Enough?

by Frank

This is a guest post by Charity Wheeler

As every year comes to an end and we get ready to embrace the newness and challenges of the year that past, there are many questions one should ask themselves.


  • Did I accomplish the goals that I set to accomplish?
  • Did I do my best when entrusted to do something?
  • Did I give to those who needed me to provide?
  • Did I say I love you every chance I had?
  • Did I say “sorry” or “I forgive you” or “please forgive me?”

My story this time is a reflection of would’ve, should’ve and could’ve, but didn’t.

So often, when someone harms us or hurts us, especially those whom we love and care for, it is hard to let it go. It sometimes becomes easier to hold a grudge, rather than to say I love you. Admit it… all of us have occasions when it is hard to turn the other cheek. Yet, it is in times like these that one must learn to live the mantra, ‘don’t sweat the small stuff!’ And declare, “I love you anyway.”

New Year

Photo by Murali cm

Have you ever put someone on a pedestal so high that they could do no wrong? Or, has a person you admire highly done something that caused them to lose your respect? Has that same person ever been your parent?


This is one of the Ten Commandments. As for me, I always honored my Father and my Mother up until a little over a year ago, when I lost so much respect for my Father, because of something that he did, that was completely unnecessary. I was angry at him for something he did. I was angry at him because he refused to take good care of himself after he had his stroke 13 years ago. He became a bitter and mean man. This was not my daddy. This was a man that I became distant from. Honor! Oh how I wish that I had continued to honor my Father.

On December 12, 2010, my heavenly father, called my earthly father home to be with him. I spent this last year holding a grudge and not speaking to my dad, due to my own stubbornness and anger. I wanted my dad back, the one that I shared 30 plus good years with.  My dad was my rock. No one could say anything bad about my dad. He loved me and I loved him. He made me laugh and I made him laugh, I and many others always told him that his voice sounded like Barry White. My dad served in the Army and in the Vietnam War, he would tell me tall tales about fighting sharks and carrying wounded soldiers across the ocean and of course, I believed my dad. My dad had big muscles and he would let me hang on his muscles and he would swing me. Oh how I miss the good times with my dad. I still beat myself up because I didn’t do what God said, but I love the memories that I have with my “daddy.”


For the last three to four weeks prior to my dad’s passing, something kept telling me to write my dad, call my dad, go see my dad and I kept saying one day I will. I put it off and now I have to live with regret. The night before my dad passed he came to me in my dreams. When I saw him, I said,

“Daddy, I forgive you for everything.

He said, “Charity, I am dying.”

And I said, “I know.”

I felt a sense of peace because I was able to say that in my dream, and the next day my mom called me when she got home from church and said that my dad had died. But, now, I ask myself “was it good enough?”

If I can give one piece of advice to anyone that will listen, don’t sweat the small stuff, forgive and move on, love, live and laugh.

In Ephesians 4:26, New International Version it states:

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”

Want to know more about Charity Wheeler? Here is her personal bio:

A CHILD OF THE KING, Funny, Outgoing, Sincere, Dedicated, Yearning for success, Goal Setter, Dreams that only God can make come true, A writer, Inspirational, Creative, Small Business Owner, Loving, Kind. I am a Wife, Mother, Student, Daughter, Sister, and Friend. I love bringing JOY to others. I am Charity Wheeler and I look forward to encouraging and enlightening you.